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    January 18

    恐惧

     
         你给了我一个体验失去的机会,随之而来的是我躲进被子里,努力的抱紧自己,不让自己的身体战栗。尽管这样,仍有控制不了的颤抖。我努力闭上眼睛不让它睁开,如果不流泪就不算输的话,我不想被恐惧打败。其实我从来都没有得到过,只是天真的以为这些在我面前的东西是真实的,触手可及。我吃很多食物,为的是想汲取温暖和一点点力量,一点可以哭出来的力量,至少食物不会背叛我。我想了很久,还是让我离开你的世界吧,我再怎么想靠近你都会将我一把推开,所以这次我自己走,如你所愿。
     
         我现在发现自己的征服欲望在萌芽,至于征服哪些东西可以满足,很难分辨,也许得到的越多越好。只是,当我不再恐惧失去的时候才真的算是进入游戏。那些我需要的温暖经常得不到,于是我不再追求,好在我是个懂得知足的人。现在每天忙忙碌碌,这样不错,让我以为一直都有所得,因为我一直相信所谓的公平,直到你把这个幻想打破。
     
         天气太冷没什么不好,不会膨胀,还可以冷静,其实这些都与天气无关,我只是不想承认你的魅力。OK,这次我输,不过这不代表妥协。其实我想记起你的脸,找回那种熟悉的感觉,只怪你太吝啬。“既然心中已布满尘埃,不如索性擦去记忆”,让一只猪骄傲一次,你说的话我用了,还有,我不准备给你结账。如果你想离开,也千万不要对我说再见!
     
     

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    迪 程wrote:
    头发那么长了?
    Jan. 26

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